For the most part, we usually hear the negative aspects of television. Too much violence, bad language, sexually suggestive ads, and poor behavior. Throw in all the commercials encouraging our kids to nag us for the latest Unicorn Princess or various stuffed animal that excrete one chemical or another and most parents probably have some belief that “No TV is Best”. The problem is what these kids should do with all that newly acquired free time. Surf the Net? Run the Streets? Sleep? If those are the alternatives…..how bad could TV be?

If I surf through the 100’s (and maybe 1000’s) of television stations, I see good stuff out there. Good is probably a relevant term. Good to me might be the Navy Seals documentary on the Discovery Military Channel where my wife might find 30 Minute Meals by Rachel Ray to be good. The point is that useful, educational, non-corruptive shows certainly exist. Unfortunately, I’m starting to come to the impression that very few people actually watch them. Now…..to the kids.

A few years ago, I picked up a book at the library. It is called The Elephant in the Living Room: Make Television Work for Your Kids by Dimitri Christakis and Frederick Zimmerman. I liked the concept of accepting that TV is part of lives yet finding the best way to utilize it without it destroying us. We’ll probably see this same type of book for the Internet soon. From the book “Their research has found that TV can be both as bad as has been feared but also better than ever though possible. The key to making television a positive force they say, is to learn to use TV as a tool, not a crutch.”

I’m going to try to make this a multi-part blog diving into some of the research. One of the nice parts of a research-oriented book is the depth of reference material used and quoted in the notes. One of the good uses of the internet is the posting of many academic articles and papers. Some are free. For example….in about 2 minutes, I found this article called Early Television Exposure and Subsequent Attentional Problems in Children. How cool is that?

If you are interested in buying the book, for some reason it is on sale at Amazon for $5.99 (Cover price is $24.99). You can always snag it at your library, but I think you’ll probably reference this multiple times….so for $5.99 it’s a bargain.

I’ll delve into television with education, aggression (my boy’s days watching Star Wars may be numbered as I re-read this book), body image, and the teen/college years (sex and alcohol). Just want to be clear that I’m pulling information from this book and references while adding my opinions and experiences to the mix. At a summary level, I’m definitely biased towards less TV than more. If I had to choose No TV vs. Unlimited TV, I would immediately save about $50 per month on my cable bill.

A good use of TV. When I was in high school taking Biology, I had a teacher (I’ll call him Mr. C. for privacy) that encouraged us to watch the Discovery Channel. Rather than just say “it’s a good channel” which would have done little or nothing, he actually allowed us to earn bonus points towards our grades. Though this wouldn’t work for every kid (maybe just the academic types), it definitely influenced me. We could watch any show on any topic (let’s say African Predators). While watching, we would document interesting facts. It wasn’t an English essay exercise….just putting down the pen to paper and probably some proof that we actually watched it. Next, we’d turn in the paper and get some points towards our grade. Did I become some great biologist or scientist? Nope, certainly not. However, this exercise created some sort of appreciation for these documentary/nature/Discovery channel type shows. To this day, I still watch these types of shows. Just thought I’d include a positive television story.

What shows on television do you consider to be a positive influence on your kids?

Are your viewing habits today impacted by your viewing habits as a child?

I have found a genre of book that I absolutely love to read. After having read non-fiction leadership, self-help (working on marriage, kids, and money), and classroom (Masters in Christian Leadership) books for the past four or five years, I first found Lone Survivor: The Eyewitness Account of Operation Redwing and the Lost Heroes of SEAL Team 10 by Marcus Luttrell. Check out my review on that one. I surfed the Amazon website and cross-referenced Lone Survivor to find a few others that sounded interesting. I just finished Chosen Soldier: The Making of a Special Forces Warrior and have nothing but good things to say.

Where Lone Survivor explained the Navy Seals training and then Lutrell’s moving explanation of a Navy Seal mission, Chosen Soldier covers a short history of Special Forces then dives into the comprehensive training that makes these guys “heroes” in my eyes. In fact, at one point I told my wife that I missed my calling before confessing that there was no way in the world I’ve ever been tough enough physically or mentally to be in Special Forces. In today’s world, our kids are following well paid actors, sports stars, and musicians when the real heroes are silently risking their lives in the service of United States. Those heroes are in the U.S. military and the Special Forces are in the heart of dangerous territory.

Dick Couch (a former Seal) lived with these guys from recruiting into the X-Ray program (for guys with no military background) all the way through the final Robin Sage testing event. If you have ever seen the Navy Seals series on the Discovery Channel (Training of BUDS Class 234) and enjoyed it, then you will absolutely enjoy this book. The initial preparation and selection processes sound intense physically and mentally which I know a guy like me wouldn’t survive. However, when they get into the tactics and MOS training, I was looking up Special Forces on the Internet and looking to see if they had an over-the-hill X-Ray program (for out of shape old guys). Couch covers each MOS in enough detail. The 18 Bravo – Weapons sergeant – check out the list of worldwide weapon systems that they must know. The 18 Charlie – Engineer sergeant – closest to my old National Guard MOS of Combat Engineer. The 18 Delta – Medical sergeant – they have 12 months of training which is much longer than any other MOS. The 18 Echo – Communications Sergeant and finally a large chapter devoted to the 18 Alpha or Detachment Commander. This book explains all the hard work and dedication required to be Special Forces.

Even if you haven’t been in the military or aren’t planning to be, this level of coverage just makes you appreciate the intelligence and toughness required. When Couch covers the plan briefing with a hundred Powerpoint slides to be presented to the Commander….I felt a slight business parallel. However, when deployed, this training results in life-or-death decisions.

When my boys are old enough to read, I’ll put this book in their hands rather than Harry Potter or the Twilight series. Real world. Real heroes. Don’t get me wrong….not saying they are joining or anything like that (though I’d be proud if they did). I just want my kids to know where the real heroes are. While we are watching millionaires chasing millionaires for 3 hours and million dollar commercials in the Superbowl two weeks from now, our U.S. military is out…..there protecting our freedoms.

Language is much cleaner in Chosen Soldier compared to Lone Survivor making it a lot easier to recommend to teens.

For the Amazon stats, Chosen Solider has 42 reviews and a 4.5 star rating. Cost is $10.17 brand new (or somewhere around $5 used), although this certainly could be picked up from the local library.

I just had a great exchange with my 16 year old stepson. He argues that Facebook is for teens (and hopefully we’ll see his response below – remember no bad language and this is a moderated site…). I argued that it is for adults.

Just so everyone knows, my wife created my facebook page just last week, so I’m no heavy user. My preference has been for LinkedIn which clearly is a business social networking site. I actually had stated that I thought facebook was more a pickup tool for the “single” scene of the 20-30 year old demographic. However, I must say that I’ve been incorrect. After having added about 40 friends so far, the majority are same demographic as me (35-49)…..not much of an argument though as those are the people who would probably “choose” to confirm my friendship.

Back to the disagreement, the primary crux of my argument is that the majority of advertising is geared towards people that spend money (other than the “nag” factor advertising towards little kids). Therefore, if Facebook, MySpace, or any other site based on web traffic was expecting to make a return on investment, eventually they need to reach a cash-laden demographic. A good example of this is how credit card companies target college kids to get them “hooked” on credit cards and eventually profit when they make higher-than-average wages with their college degree. So, I did some surfing……..googling……and research.

Now, it’s not entirely fair to write just one side of the argument on this blog….but then again teens have a lot more time and a lot less kids then I do…..so they can go ahead and write a well-thought out response in opposition. Here is what I found.

Facebook - The Complete Biography provides the history of Facebook’s creation. There probably are many different sites, but this seemed straightforward. Mark Zuckerberg and some Harvard buddies created a phenomenon among college students that spread quickly. Back when this article was written in 2006, you had to have an organizational email address which restricted growth. Obviously that changed at some point.

As I suspected, when it was funded by $500k by Peter Theil, then $13m from Accel Partners, and another $25m from Greylock (almost $40mil invested) to create an ad-based web traffic driven site, I’m sure they are expecting to reap some return.

I pulled up the Wikipedia history of Facebook which is more current. Initially, Zuckerberg restricted it to Harvard students (which kind of stops both sides of the argument - it wasn’t geared towards teens and it wasn’t geared towards “working” adults). It then expanded beyond Harvard to all Ivy League schools. After that, it was opened to high schools, then everyone.

The more I read….I have to say I’m impressed that Zuckerberg stumbled onto something so popular (I’m sure he’ll be well paid for it). I’ll certainly argue that initially it was geared towards college students (not teens and not working adults - I was wrong there). I’m sure once the big $$$ got into the mix, they shifted the plans toward better demographics.

From Facebook Growth Regions and Gender Split, it goes on to explain that Facebook is expanding faster in other countries that the % of US population utilizing the app is declining (just growing at a slower rate than overseas - no surprise there). Also from the article “With a commanding share of college-age users in its home country, U.S. growth has been strongest among working age users (26-59). I was expecting stronger growth in the teen market (13-17), but teens remain the slowest growing group in the U.S. “.

My final conclusion is that I’m incorrect in believing that Facebook was geared towards profit (working adults) and the teen is incorrect in believing it was geared towards teens. Zuckerberg was focused on college students. Facebook’s current focus is on Everyone over the age of 13. Their fastest growing demographics are adults and overseas (maybe because those are the smallest - I don’t know). However, I’ve read a few books on chasing “cool” and when everyone has a Facebook page, the “cool” people (whatever demographic they are) will move to something else.

Hopefully, I’ll get a few responses in opposition or support.

Ok, I’ll admit I’m not a young hip teenager sporting the latest electronic gadget. However, I think my use of technology is somewhat above average as I do have the iPod classic and my wife created me a Facebook account. Hey….I even can blog without the Blogging for Dummies book. Our family has the unlimited text messaging plan for $30 per month. My wife insists it is critical for communicating with a 16 and 13 yr old. My definition of communication is that some information is passed from one person to another.

This is an example of a text message conversation. I’ll translate in the ( )
Me to the 16 yr old: Watcha doing (me using slang)
16 yr old to me: nm u (not much. What are you doing?)
Me to the 16 yr old: watchin tv
…………………….. (time passes with me expecting some sort of response)
Me to the 16 yr old: ne big plans this weekend (ne = any…)
16 yr old to me: n u (no. Do you have any?)

That useless conversation took 5 minutes of my life. If I were talking on the phone, it would have taken 10 seconds. At this point, my opinion of text messaging is that it is on the verge of electronic grunting. Just worthless noises between two organisms!!!! Of course, another possibility is that my stepson doesn’t want to talk with me…..and I’m open to that possibility.

So, is there an actual use for text messaging besides the former mayor of Detroit sending steamy text messages to his administrative staff? I have found that when I’m on a conference call at work and my wife calls my cell phone, I can quickly send a message back saying “On a call”. I also can send a text message to my cell phone company (AT&T) and they will tell me how many anytime minutes I have left in a month. Those two applications seem minimally useful. I found one other useful application and that is the NFL using text messaging for people to quietly report unruly fans to security. They call it the “rat line”.

I found an article where some teachers are starting to see teenager’s writing regress due to text messaging slang called Does text messaging hurt us in the long run? Instead of writing “you”, kids will put “u” and use other shorthand. I’ve also heard that text messaging is even more prevalent in other countries and has eclipsed talking as the primary form of communication.

My prediction is that scary times are ahead…..at least for us old folk.

C ya l8ter 2nite k

Everyone has opinions about what names they like and what names they dislike. Please do not be offended if I list your name on the dislike list. In the past few years, the wife and I have had a couple of kids. During this joyous time, I’ve found some negotiating happening. I’m pretty sure that the wife hadn’t taken a Karrass Negotiating class, but I find myself in negotiations regarding the baby’s name.

As much as I’d like to say we both just came to an agreement on a name that we love, that didn’t seem to occur. My requirements for a name seem simple. I’d like the name to be easy to spell, yet not super common like mine (Michael). Being the list-maker type, I thought I found the perfect solution with the Social Security website. Utilizing our taxpayer dollars, there is a wonderful site that lists the top 1000 baby names of past years and even shows you a 15 year trend. For all naming nerds, how cool is that? My solution was to have the wife chug through all 1000 and pick out her favorite 50 or 60, of which I’m sure I’d find some names that I’d like as well. When I tried this exercise, I found plenty of “cool” names and I was sure that she would as well.

Her technique was to only find about 10 names (out of a 1000) that she liked and I theorize (though she denies it) she made sure I wouldn’t pick those names. These would be crazy off-shoot names that nobody would spell correctly at first try like Kadin, Layne, Aydin, or Jordyn (these weren’t exactly the ones she picked but you get the idea). Of course, she strongly insisted that she loved these names……increasing the negotiating leverage on me. As the due date approached, she of course mentioned that she’d ultimately get to make the choice in the hospital. For any of you that have taking a negotiating class, this is exactly the place you don’t want to be.

Feeling the pressure, I started to offer a “deal”. Could we possibly deal $$$ for letters? Maybe we could reduce our emergency fund by a $100 and increase her “cash spend” by $100 (the actual amounts were higher)??? Of course, this only meant that she’d negotiate away from Christofer or Meagan towards Christopher or Megan……not that I got to choose. Eventually, we found a name that we agreed on…..and the $$$ changed accounts. Probably our best match was the name Braxton.

Check out the Social Security Site. It’s interesting to see some of the name trends. You can definitely see the impact of the movies and celebrity baby names.

Getting more popular (rank from year to year)
Ella – 374..265..192..89..44..29..23..21..21
Ava – 259..180..133..82..39..25..9..5..4
Mia – 120..94..76..43..36..30..17..13..15

How about a movie impact name?
Trinity (before The Matrix) – 900..789..663..672..544..527
Trinity (after The Matrix) – 209..74..67..70..56..48..64..72

Any other interesting trends that somebody sees? Any better negotiating techniques I could try?

Happy New Year’s!!! I wonder what the New Year’s baby will be named.

As I sit at a McDonalds writing this (while “watching” my children), I can’t help but see the groupings of tomorrow’s corporate future. With ten to twelve children running, climbing, screaming, and occasionally crying, I can see a corporate parallel.

If you ever watch the kids at these Play Places, there are not necessarily twelve kids running in separate directions. There are groups that move together. Typically, one kid (usually a little older but not always) is the leader. He or she will have some followers. The group will move somewhat cohesively up the stairs, down the slides, and into the formerly dreaded (now ball-less) ball-pit until running into another obstacle. Obstacles consists of two possibilities, either the lone child (usually a 2 year old that can barely make it up the stairs but is afraid to try the catwalk) or another group where leaders run into each other head-to-head.

In sense, the same thing happens in corporate America. There are groups (sometimes cross-functional) within an organization. They move nimbly through various tasks and projects until running into obstacles. Obstacles could be a lone opponent (or technological issue) or more likely another group seeking a different objective yet competing for the same resources. One group will subside or be forced to subside and let the other group pass.

The next thing I notice is that each child checks with their parent every little bit. My kids yell “Hey Dad….Look at Me!!!” or “Can I get another ice cream now?”. The amount of independence varies from child to child. Some kids check in every trip down the slide….then catch up with their group. Others just yell from two stories up (which is a bit annoying).

This same thing happens in corporate America. Individuals and teams check in with higher ups or executive sponsors. Sometimes, they are shouting from the top-of-the-world, “Look what I (or we) have done!!!”. Other times, they are asking for more resources (money or people).

Bullies and Baggage……As I look up at this specific play place, I see two teen boys that are climbing amongst the children. There should be a specific rule. If you are old enough to have facial hair, you should not be climbing with preschoolers. I don’t sense any ill intent…..it just seems a bit strange. Another type I see is the child that is a “bully” or bully wannabe. They tell other kids to get out of the way…..unless they run into one of these teenagers where they quickly say “Excuse Me”. Baggage are the poor little ones that get hung up on the platforms unable to climb any higher and afraid to drop down to the next lower platform. They scream and their parents come to the netting (or sometimes climb in) and instruct/help them out of the situation.

Are there people in areas they shouldn’t be in corporate America? Are there bullies? Are there baggage? Of course there are. Part of learning an organization is learning how to get things down…..when to bully things through and when to ask for help….and trying to avoid becoming the baggage.

Need to run…..my kids are demanding resources and their executive sponsor is being bullied.